Anger arouses when we are frustrated or threatened. It’s useful to think of it as a racket. The child inside of us had become an effective racketeer. Early in life, he had learned to use it like a machine gun, “I’m going to mow you down with my anger until I get what I want.” Anger destroys intimacy and obscures love. It is a habit that is surprisingly easy to give up once you decide to find other, more effective ways of dealing with problems.