Zen and the Art of Intimacy
        You will learn to experience commitment not as restrictive or limiting, but as a protective bond in which you and your partner can flourish. You will learn how to transform anxiety and depression into a sense of peace and well-being. You will also be empowered to change anger into patience and compassion, and convert longing for idealized romance into real and gratifying caring. Most importantly, you will discover the joy of unconditional love for yourself and your partner, unfettered by past experiences.
        This book will tell you how to maintain a long-term relationship. The exciting part is that you will be able to do this without suffering through the tedium that often comes with familiarity. The lyrics of the old song go, "The Rockies may crumble, Gibraltar may tumble,    they're only made of clay - but our love is here to stay." This book is dedicated to making that dream come true. 

  Author: Arthur Samuels
  Price: $21.95
  Quantity: 1
  Shipping: $3.00 worldwide

Table of Contents
Introduction

Section I: Zen and the art of intimacy with your true self

1 Prelude to intimacy 1
    What does Zen have to do with intimacy? 4
    The Neurobiology of meditation 6
    Is this book for you? 7
        Your Love is here to stay 8
        A long gestation 8
        What this book can do for you 9
        How to use this book 10

2 You are more then you think - getting to know you 11
    The inner self 12
        The inner child 13
    The outer self 14
        Constructing an outer self in a harsh environment 15
        Constructing an outer self in a nurturing environment 17
    Personality and ego 17
        You can change your personality 18
    Soul 19
    God self or universal energy 20
    The higher self 20
    Now for some action! 21
    Inner self meditation 22
    How we become chained by our own thoughts 28
    Who am I? 29
    How to break the chains with a feather? 29

3 I want to be free 33
    Origin of life script 34
        Bound down by a script we write for ourselves 35
    Negative rules for life 36
    Identifying your own negative life rules 40
    A note on memory 41
    How to change destructive rules for living 44
    How to become master of your own life 45
        Redeciding 45
    Positive Drivers 47
        Antidotes to drivers 49
    Rackets: Anger, Depression, Anxiety, and Confusion 51
    Change your tragedy into romantic comedy 53
    A goat named Lady Macbeth 54
    Summary 55

Section II: Zen and the art of intimacy with others

4 Overcoming the fear of intimacy 57
    Anxiety - the helpful gremlin 58
        How can you love someone like me? 59
        Fear of silence 59
        Fear of rejection 60
        Fuzzy boundaries - I'll lose me in pleasing you 61
        I'll become too dependent on you: Interdependence 61
        I feel like I've been skinned alive - the fear of sharing emotions 64
        Taming the beast - unleashed anger 66
        Sexy you? 67
        The fear of being controlled 69
    Summary 72

5 Commitment: Jail or Playpen? 73
    Commitment to what? 75
    Commitment when romance fades: We love each other.
        Now what? 76
    Commitment in action 78
        How much time should we spend together? 79
        Friend or lover? 79
        Commitment to joy 80
        Monogamy? When? 81
        Commitment to love 81
    Commitment: the pause that refreshes and can last a lifetime 82

6 Addiction to Beauty 83
    Nature's booby trap, culture's pride 85
    What turns you on? 86
        Physical factors 86
        Sexual factors 86
        Emotional factors 86
        Spiritual factors 87
    The myth of possessing a beautiful women o handsome man 88
    When beauty fades or isn't there in the first place 88
    True beauty is a matter of the heart 91
    summary 92

7 Romeo and Juliet without the tragedy 93
    Addiction to romance 94
        A cultural hoax that erodes real relationships 94
        A kindergarten romance 95
        The origin of addiction to romance 96
        The gentle trap 97
    Need to love 97
    Romance and marriage 100
        Why doesn't Romeo end up with Juliet? 101
        True love verses romantic love 102
    Harvesting romantic qualities 102
        Mystery 102
        Adventure 103
        Dreams 103
        Charm 103
        Novelty 103
        Amorousness 104
        Idyllic vision 104
        Extravagance 104
        Bring it home 105
        Magnifying the pleasure 105
        Sex 105 

8 The Zen of Sexuality 107
    Desire can grow or destroy love 110
    How to transform desire into loving enthusiasm 111
    Tantric sexuality 113
    Impotence and Frigidity - truth machines 113
    Sex after sixty, seventy, eighty, or even ninety-two 14
    "Free" sex 114
        Free sex in a committed relationship 115
    Sex - pathway to love or dead end to despair 115
    Men in high places 115
    Summary 117

9 Mid-Life Crisis 119
    First call to eternity 120
    The race to nowhere 120
        How to stop the race 121
    Joy 123
    How to get a natural high 124
    A blessing dressed in fear's clothing 126
    Fear of death 127
        Death as an illumination of life 127
        Death and relationships 128
    Summary 129

10 The seven year itch - finding fun in fidelity 131
    Too hot to handle 132
    No matter how much it inches, don't scratch 133
        Beware of the Titanic: A visit to dreamland 133
    A trap called desire 134
        Avoiding the trap 135
    Potholes in marriage 136 
        Anger - A weed in the garden of your mind 136
        "You don't make me happy" 142
        Boredom - Clinging to past pleasures 144   
        Children - A menace to marriage 146
    Summary 148

11 Finding the cure in the lure 149
    What turns you on? 150
        Physical attraction: color 150
        Physical size 151
        Physical energy 152
        Emotional attraction 153
        Spiritual and mortal attraction 155
        Intellectual attraction 156
    Sex 156
        Routine sex is destructive 157
    Lust but don't leap 158
    Summary 162

12 Creating a soul mate 163
    Where is you soul mate? 164
        Divine thought 165
        Defusing noxious thought 165
        How to turn a pig into a prince 166
        Divine speech 167
        Truthfulness 168
        Divine hearing 168
        Divine Seeing 168
        Divine touch 169
        Sharing enthusiasm 169
        Patience 169
        Compassion 170
        No avoidance 170
        No attachment 171
        No control 171
    The ultimate in Intimacy 173

Postscript 175
Recommended Reading 177